The Story We Tell Ourselves Is Often A Reflection Of Our Nervous System!

 I pass by the same subway sign pretty frequently that reads KEEP MOVING and never give it much thought as yes on the subway we need to keep going to get to the next stop. However after a couple stressful weeks with a recent event I started to notice how when I saw this sign about to go up the stairs, I started to feel a rush of anxiety! This sign was a way to tell me the story of the state my nervous system was in and what I actually needed to help change the story. My name is Jenny Yuzon, a Registered Social Worker (RSW) providing virtual integrative somatic therapy and Brainspottng in Ontario. I help people learn ways to work with their nervous system and shift stories their system has held on to.

One day when I was already rushing to get to my next thing, the sign "KEEP MOVING" made me feel like I had no time to stop, no time to breathe. The flood of people around me made me feel like I had no choice, I had to keep moving and felt irritated and anxious all at the same time. Creator of Polyvagal Theory, Stephen W. Porges calls this nervous system state sympathetic, which is when our nervous system is in fight or flight mode. We go into action and start scanning our environment for danger and may feel a rush of adrenaline. The story here when in the sympathetic or fight/flight state is, The world is dangerous and I am in need of protection.

Then a couple days later, I saw the “ KEEP MOVING” sign and could barely make it down the stairs, feeling numb and in a daze, slowly trying to move with the people around me getting on the subway. This is what Polyvagal Theory calls para-sympathetic, Dorsal or freeze state. When all else fails and we can't take action, our nervous system feels trapped even though we are not physically trapped(Dana, 2023). Think of it as your nervous system telling you, "I care about you so much, I gotta preserve whatever energy you have left in your system." Tasks may feel harder and impossible in this state. The story here when in this para-sympathetic or Dorsal state is, The world is empty and I am alone.

Then a few days later, same subway stop, same sign but this time the story in my nervous system was feeling hopeful! Polyvagal Theory calls this Ventral state. The thing that was stressing me out for weeks didn't seem to matter as much and when I read that sign "KEEP MOVING" I could feel a lightness, slower breaths and an excitement about the possibility that I Can Keep Moving, I can leave the stressful situation I am in and I will be ok. I didn't just have to convince myself with these thoughts as my system believed it. The story in Ventral state may be I am safe and connected and The world is open to possibilities or The world is ok. 

This doesn’t change what is actually going on in the world, the past or the current situation we are experiencing but the stress internally is more manageable, nervous system shifts and we now have access to possibilities, thoughts and emotions that make us feel more hopeful and connected to ourselves and others. Think of something you have been recently feeling stressed about and fill in the blanks;

The world is... I am.. 

What is the story your state is telling you? Can you imagine what the other states might finish the sentences with as a different way to look at your situation. Doesn't mean it will be instantly believable but helps widen your view and your experience.

How Do I Help Shift My State?

These states are helpful ways of understanding patterns in our nervous system, although our experiences don't always fit neatly into one category. We can move between states, experience combinations of them, and respond differently depending on our circumstances.

Dorsal or para-sympathetic

We are often met with disconnection and immobilization in this state. Sometimes a little gentle movement or connection can help us reconnect with ourselves and others. Now remember your system is trying to preserve whatever energy you have left so smaller is better. Can we sit up on the bed or couch as a small micro movement to help show your nervous system it's ok to move or can we wiggle our hands and feet. Can we try looking at a picture of a pet or a person that helps you feel a bit more connected. 

Sympathetic or fight/flight

We are often met with wanting to complete an action, get out of where we are and a sense of panic. Can we look around the room and name all the different items you see and the sounds you hear. Can we feel our feet on the ground and how the ground beneath us is supporting us or move our body in a way that feels like it wants to move or complete an action.

Ventral

We are often met with feeling more connected to ourselves and others, playfulness, curiosity, and confidence. Notice how this state feels, is there less tension in your shoulders, breathing is easier, and you feel more connected to the people around you. TAKE THAT IN AND LET IN MARINATE.

The next time you notice yourself reacting strongly to something familiar, pause for a moment and get curious. Is this the whole story, or could my nervous system be influencing how I'm experiencing this right now? You don't need to change how you feel immediately or convince yourself everything is okay. Sometimes simply recognizing what is happening inside us is the first step toward creating a different experience.

This is part of the reason I love working with clients as I get to see how their story/beliefs start to shift at different paces and get to join in with them when they realize all sorts of things. “Wow that isn't true, it was my nervous system trying to help me out,” “I am capable” or “I wasn't wrong and they were wrong for treating me that way” or “I can move and breathe now.”

Interested in learning more about your nervous system and how to work with it. Let's connect. Jenuine Therapy offers complimentary 15 minute consultations to help see if I feel like the right fit for you.